I've heard the words "who knew?!" many a'time the past couple of months...

"Who knew your hair would look good short!"

"Who knew your head was shaped so nicely?"

I was secretly thrilled when I took the kids for their wellness check-up and the nurse told me how cute my hair was... I confessed and replied WHO knew?"

Last summer as my hair was falling out... I calculated when it would return. "The" rule of thumb is 2-3 months after your last chemo treatment. For me that was August 23rd. I hoped I'd have hair for Christmas. I heard it would grow out curly, even kinky... I heard it may come back different colors. Possilby gray. #cruel

I checked my scalp daily... surely it wouldn't take that long. But somewhere between October 15th, my mastectomy date, and now, it grew.

It's brown, slightly lighter than before and without lucious curls, no kinks, no grays. I'm considering staying short. In fact long hair is kind of grossing me out... #sideeffectmaybe #compensate

NeVah-evAH did I think my hair post chemo would look in some ways better than it looked in my classy, sassy bobb. I was worried I'd look like my big brother... boyish. So I compensate... I wear girly clothes, lipstick and earings. But as you'll see below in my video clip I've got very little of that going on... I was getting ready for bed, fussing with my hair, and decided to attempt my first Flip video.

Today is December 31st. Welcome to my bathroom and my first vlogging attempt. #santabroughtusaFlipforChristmas

p.s. cheers to 2011!

The local paper has followed my cancer journey for the past 10 months. The last article in the series ran the day after Christmas... "Focusing on a good life beyond cancer" click here. 

The pictures are very telling, very forward, and an honest depiction of my journey. #fairwarning

The photos on my blog are the moments I can capture... the smiles, the hair shots, the friends. Troy, the photo editor for The Columbian, captures the truth. And I whole heartily support that...
even if the photos aren't the most flattering... because cancer isn't flattering. #butyoucanhaveacuteblogheader

This photo (by Troy Wayrynen) really sums up my physical journey. The port and mastectomy scars, the markings, the tattoos, the hair, the radiation laser and the grin and bare it. The precision of care... [Is it weird to say I'm happy Troy captured it]

                       Photo by Troy Wayrynen The Columbian 
Krista Colvin winces in pain as Tami Fuller, a radiation therapist at Northwest Cancer Specialists, makes a permanent tattoo mark that will serve as a target during future radiation treatments

After one of my physical therapy appointments... I turned the camera on them ;)

 
Erin Middlewood and Troy Wayrynen

I'm going to miss Erin + Troy... They've walked my journey with me. They've witnessed my ups, they've captured my downs, they've been incredibly professional and caring at the same time. They've made a community aware. They remind me that life is about the journey.

The 7 part series "Coping with Cancer" click here 

Radiation is pretty uneventful compared to chemo, surgery, reconstruction...

I don't want to downplay it's importance, nor my newly found skill of laying perfectfully still (as if a monster is under my bed), nor the precise expertise of my doctors + their staff. BUT... so far it's easy peasy. #hopeI'mnotjinxingmyself

I stroll on in... barely have enough time to do a couple of puzzle pieces before it's my turn. I even get the good parking space. #bonus #i'vebeeneyeballingyoufor10months

10 down... 23 to go

p.s. I've been warned of my future skin discomfort... appearing around day 17. I've been reassured there's potions for that. But mentally I'm not being messed with.

Today was my first official radiation treatment. I have 32 to go- oy vey. Here's what I know about radiation... I will go daily m-f with the exception of Dec. 24th + 31st because the office is closed, until I reach 33 treatments. January 25th is my Done-Date.

During the next 7 1/2 weeks I'll also have my kidlets home for winter break, celebrate Christmas, celebrate my son's 11th birthday, my husband's 44th, my 44th, call my brother to wish him a happy 46th, and try to conjure up what I can do to celebrate my mama's 80th. I will be thankful and slightly crazed. And from what I hear I'll begin to get tired and feel sun burned on day 17 just in time for my son's birthday- bummer.

Today my appointment took about half an hour, but tomorrow and the rest of the treatments should only take about 10 minutes... thank goodness.  I came home with red sharpie marks outlining my radiation zone... My girlfriend Amy suggested I wipe it off before the kids got home, of course I forgot and Annie asked if I was bleeding. Nope... just getting marked up + zapped little chica. I also thought I smelled a bit fake bakey as I left the radiation room.

I'm tired... I also had my Herceptin treatment this am, followed by radiation, then it was half day which means the kidlets get out early, and I got to do both 5th grade homework and 3rd grade homework... then it was off to get Wes to basketball practice, pick up dry cleaning, grab a dinner with my lil' chica and back to basketball practice.

So... I'll share more about radiation soon ;)

I think I'm 'now' Jewish. I took a genetic test called the BRCA1 and BRCA2. It's the test for the breast cancer gene. My doctor suggested I take it since I am young to have breast cancer, my father is of Eastern European decent [Hungarian] and I have a daughter. Tahe gene is prevalent amongst Eastern European Jews and since Hungary falls into the Eastern European map- I qualified.

My results came back positive for BRCA2. [pronounced bracca 2] This answered the 'how' I got breast cancer. It also included some genetic details of my ancestry.

If you test positive for this gene [and more on this later when I feel like really sharing my deepest thoughts on this topic since it involves my kidlets] you may be of Ashkenazi Jewish ancestry if you carry the mutations 187delAG, 5385insC and 6174delT. 

I am positive for 6174delT. #mazeltov

The report says: If this individual is of Ashkenazi Jewish ancestry, it is recommended that follow-up testing of relatives of this individual include analysis for the mutations 187delAG, 5385insC, and 6174delT because of reports of coexistence of two high-frequency germline mutations in some Ashkenazi families.  [my dad tested positive, he was raised Catholic][and my genetic counselor wants my siblings + later my children at age 18 to get checked]

I'm not all that surprised. My father was raised Catholic. His father's side of the family was "very" Catholic... including Cardinal Janos Simor . I think his mother's ancestors were of Jewish decent. The family tree shows a last name ending in Stein. #deadgiveaway,maybe

I also wondered if my dad knew any of this... he was born in 1928, fled from behind the Iron curtain in the 40's when being of Jewish decent was obviously not very popular... which leads me to believe his parents never told him. [my dad confirmed that over Thanksgiving]

I'm also not that surprised because, well, quite frankly, I felt a little Jewish. Ok... how does one 'feel' Jewish. And can you be a little Jewish or is that like being a little bit pregnant? I don't know... but there was a certain comfort that I was amongst my people when I taught at Mercer Island High School in the Seattle area. [a predominantly Jewish community] My students noticed it, commented on it. I even tried to teach while sitting on my hands one day... that didn't work.

When I share my new info with my Jewish girlfriends, they welcome me to the tribe. Yesterday I even had a gift on my front porch. It included books on Hanukkah and Matzo Ball soup, a dreidel, and Hanukkah cookies. :) #seethecookiepicabove #happyHanukkah

I'm not sure what if anything to do with my newfound ancestry. In fact I wasn't raised Catholic, I don't belong to a church and I embrace people's rights to worship whom or what they please. What I do know is that I carry the BRCA2 gene and I don't believe that any god would wish breast cancer on anyone.

for more info on BRCA Analysis:
www.myriadtests.com
www.facingourrisk.org

This past week has been rough. I mentioned the other day I needed to rally... I've still got lots to do on my breast cancer journey. click here

Today, while looking at my alma mater football website, I was reminded what I needed to do. I need to put my big girl panties back on and finish the battle I started 10 months ago. [thanks T.H.S. cheer squad- I needed this...of course you don't know me, but I was you 25 years ago. And someday you may be me-but I hope not] #proud2beAformerTHSsongleader #goodluckatCIF

I'm feeling SO done with doctor appointments. I adore my medical team and their fabulous staff but I'm done. I'm wiped. Here I am d.o.n.e. with cancer cells but the journey still looms ahead of me.  This week I had my physical therapy appointment, my breast expanders deflated by 1/3 and today my radiation appointment to get 'marked'. But within an hour of the radiation marking appointment I got a 2 calls from my medical team. 1. I need to deflate a bit more so that radiation can do a better job at zapping me 2. A call from the plastic surgeon to schedule that deflation.  That means 2 more appointments added to my schedule. I was relieved that I was able to schedule them during school hours to avoid child care but bummed to have to have them at all.

On top of this, I'm tired. I slept crappy last night. I couldn't take a sleeping pill because I had taken a valium earlier in the evening to relax my chest muscles. [was told not to mix those meds] I also seemed to have heartburn or the need to vomit. I kept telling myself it was heartburn and got up to take a prilosec, pee yet one more time, and then shuffle the pillows around like a pregnant woman to get comfortable. I also had to ban the dog from the bed as somehow he manages to take up more than his fair share and he's a dachshund. #gofigure

Did I mention I start radiation next Wednesday. I'm not all that concerned about the treatment, but rather the amount of time. I will have a daily appointment m-f for 6 1/2 weeks. AND even after that I won't really be done with my cancer journey. (can you hear the woe is me in my voice) I'll have my Herceptin infusions through March, Surgery to remove my baby bearing parts in May #notthatIneedthemanyway, and breast reconstruction sometime next summer. Then maybe I'll be able to say I'm DONE.

So here I sit... waiting for my hubby to get home so that I can cry a bit and have him boost me up. I need to rally... I need to put my big girl panties back on and I need a good night's sleep.