I've never written to my Washington State house representatives... until last night. My plastic surgeon is sponsoring a bill that requires a medical community member to give information to women regarding their breast reconstruction options. I fully support women being informed. Amazing that this information has not yet been 'assigned' to a particular type of doctor etc.- hence it gets lost in the shuffle. My breast cancer sisters should NOT be lost in the shuffle.

Here is my letter (if you would like to support this bill the information is below the letter)

I'm writing in support of the HB 1101 Breast Reconstruction Bill.  Within months of my 43rd birthday I found a large cancerous and aggressive tumor in my breast. I am thankful that my two children, age 10 and 7 burst into the bathroom as I was soaking in the tub. I quickly covered myself and my fingers felt the edge of the lump. The previous spring my mammogram had been clear.
 
Before my bilateral mastectomy my daughter asked if she could sit on my lap and snuggle me... She knew what my surgery entailed. What she did not know was my decision to have reconstruction wasn't an easy one. I debated my options.
 
I was thankful to have them (options). I am happy with my decision. I am grateful that my medical team communicated with me. I am one of the few.
 
Please support the HB 1101 Breast Reconstruction Bill so that all women may have the information they need to make an educated choice. Women should have more than a Google search when making a medical decision.
 
Sincerely,
Krista Colvin, Stage 3A Breast Cancer Survivor
.........

If you so desire to support this important bill: contact legislation by going to http://www.leg.wa.gov/House/Committees/HCW/Pages/MembersStaff.aspx.  

You can address your support to the Health Care and Wellness Committee.  
 
Details about the bill:  http://apps.leg.wa.gov/billinfo/summary.aspx?bill=1101&year=2011

A simple note is all that is needed, you can add your personal story to what is listed below. 
 
Send your e-mail to Maureen.Gallegos@leg.wa.gov. Please give her permission to share with all legislative members.
 
If you weren’t informed of your reconstruction options:
I’m a cancer survivor and  I was not given my options.  I did not have reconstruction because I didn’t know insurance would cover it. I support HB 1101 Breast Reconstruction bill!
 
If you were informed of your reconstruction options:
Your story and a statement that you support the HB 1101 Breast Reconstruction Bill
 

I feel like each time I reach a treatment milestone that my journey isn't really over. #becauseitisn't

I read all the wonderful comments and feel they are premature- yet I know life is about the journey, it's about stopping to smell the roses, celebrating the successs along the way- I'm that kind of girl. But I find myself unwilling to throw the Survivor party just yet...

So I got to thinking... When is that moment for me?

Like any professional organizer... I got out my planner.

I looked at my pending cancer related appointments. Three more Herceptin infusions, Hysterectomy, Reconstruction surgeries. Throw in visits to my oncologist every 3-6 months and a PET scan or two... It won't ever really end.

I picked a date. March 23rd is my last infusion, my last 'die cancer die, don't come back' treatment. This day will mark 1 year and 23 days of breast cancer. I'm calling it good.

I'm going to celebrate. I'm going to exhale. I'm going to look at the view from the top. It's my moment.

3 more to go...

My last five radiation treatments are a bit different. They call them 'booster shots'. Which means they target my mastectomy scars... apparently cancer cells find this to be a good hiding spot. Well Olly Olly Oxen Free- come out, come out, wherever you are. #takethatbiotchcancercells

My skin is tight... and burnt and peeling. Take a looky.

It hurts under my arm pit... and where my cleavage is. #yesIhavealittlecleaveaction

My cold hands tend to be helpful along with aloe vera gel and the prescription silvadene. I'm thankful my skin isn't cracking- I've heard stories, thus in the cancer world, I'm one of the lucky ones. 

I haven't experienced any fatigue- thank God, because I've been there done that and I'm SO done with that. In fact... I'm feeling great. I'm not napping. I'm not popping sleeping pills, and I can actually stay up til 11pm without completely falling asleep on the couch.

I am however gaining weight. I'm sure the 10 o'clock bowl of cereal and the hoards of holiday + birthday treats haven't helped. #gofigure

30 down. 3 to go. Then I get to ring the bell marking the end of radiation treatment #ringitloud

Radiation isn't scary. It's very detailed + scientific and you have to hold really, really still, but it's not scary. Take a peek at the video my girl Brandie + I took today of my treatment. You'll see what it looks like, how long it takes, and you'll get a peek at my gold lame disco top they let me wear. #don'tbejealous

Today was Day 19 of 33 treatments. My treated skin is noticeably darker... as in I have 'tan' lines. My right breast and under my arm pit are beginning to feel the tightness along with minor irritation.... so I let the nurse know that I'd no longer be shaving my right pit for her.

My energy is great, for now, and I'm hoping that doesn't take a major dive. #cuzI'mLOVIN'it+Ifeelnormal

My radiation treatment screen... the details. 
My right breast + lymph nodes are in 'the treatment zone'
 

Side notes

What to wear to Radiation:I'm a quick changer so I skip using the lockers. I wear a cardigan that can be quickly pulled off + on along with my tank that easily pulls down when I get on the treatment table. [the video was taken during a particular cold week and I needed the extra clothes layer] Oh, and don't wear deodorant in the pit they are treating.

Hold Still:Let the team move you into just the right position.If they want you to help they'll ask you to scooch down/up a bit. You can keep you eyes open or closed during the actual zapping.

Meds: I was told to stop taking vitamin C during radiation because the doctor doesn't want me to have any antioxidants.

Rads: That's how my twitter friends refer to radiation.

The local paper has followed my cancer journey for the past 10 months. The last article in the series ran the day after Christmas... "Focusing on a good life beyond cancer" click here. 

The pictures are very telling, very forward, and an honest depiction of my journey. #fairwarning

The photos on my blog are the moments I can capture... the smiles, the hair shots, the friends. Troy, the photo editor for The Columbian, captures the truth. And I whole heartily support that...
even if the photos aren't the most flattering... because cancer isn't flattering. #butyoucanhaveacuteblogheader

This photo (by Troy Wayrynen) really sums up my physical journey. The port and mastectomy scars, the markings, the tattoos, the hair, the radiation laser and the grin and bare it. The precision of care... [Is it weird to say I'm happy Troy captured it]

                       Photo by Troy Wayrynen The Columbian 
Krista Colvin winces in pain as Tami Fuller, a radiation therapist at Northwest Cancer Specialists, makes a permanent tattoo mark that will serve as a target during future radiation treatments

After one of my physical therapy appointments... I turned the camera on them ;)

 
Erin Middlewood and Troy Wayrynen

I'm going to miss Erin + Troy... They've walked my journey with me. They've witnessed my ups, they've captured my downs, they've been incredibly professional and caring at the same time. They've made a community aware. They remind me that life is about the journey.

The 7 part series "Coping with Cancer" click here 

Radiation is pretty uneventful compared to chemo, surgery, reconstruction...

I don't want to downplay it's importance, nor my newly found skill of laying perfectfully still (as if a monster is under my bed), nor the precise expertise of my doctors + their staff. BUT... so far it's easy peasy. #hopeI'mnotjinxingmyself

I stroll on in... barely have enough time to do a couple of puzzle pieces before it's my turn. I even get the good parking space. #bonus #i'vebeeneyeballingyoufor10months

10 down... 23 to go

p.s. I've been warned of my future skin discomfort... appearing around day 17. I've been reassured there's potions for that. But mentally I'm not being messed with.

Sometimes I over do it and pay for it later. I do just one more load of laundry when I should be resting. If you're a mom or a woman you may be nodding your tired lil' noggin along with me or maybe an 'amen sister' is in order. But last week I really did a doozy. A major over do it.

While packing for my Thanksgiving weekend I had to count out my vitamins, meds, and the number of underwear I needed. Needless to say it's not the underwear I screwed up on. I've written before about the mass number of pills I'm popping and how I felt like a junkie when I needed more sleeping pills but my prescription was out...  click herefor that post.  Long story short, my doctor said I could take 2 pills per night and when you're 'big boned' I needed 2 pills to get + stay asleep. The pharmacist called my doctor who then upped my pills from 5 mg to 10 mg. Insurance likes it that way. And I did as well... running out of sleeping pills and not being able to get my refill sent me into a panic... hence the junkie blog post.

Well that was months ago, but for some strange unknown reason when I was counting out my sleeping pills for my trip I counted out 2 per day. My current prescription is for one per day. The entire week I double dosed- not good. In fact one night after visiting with old classmates and having two pear martinis under my belt, I decided to just take one sleeping pill. I told my husband jokingly "The last thing I need to do after all I've been through is to O.D."

I'm not even sure how I came to the conclusion that I had messed up. All I was doing was pulling into my garage after picking my son up from basketball practice and bam it hit me that I may have double dosed. I doubted myself, wondered why I'd even think about sleeping pills at that moment, then in order to prove myself wrong I went inside, counted out my pills, did some math and yes I had screwed up. I thought about how elderly people must do this shit all the time. It's confusing, overwhelming, and dangerous to make mistakes.

Then oddly enough that evening my husband was watching Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. #whichisslightlyaddictingwithinitself  Two of the addicts listed meds I'm currently taking. Great. Definitely a reminder that I need to be more careful and that packing panties is less important than getting my meds correct.

I'm feeling SO done with doctor appointments. I adore my medical team and their fabulous staff but I'm done. I'm wiped. Here I am d.o.n.e. with cancer cells but the journey still looms ahead of me.  This week I had my physical therapy appointment, my breast expanders deflated by 1/3 and today my radiation appointment to get 'marked'. But within an hour of the radiation marking appointment I got a 2 calls from my medical team. 1. I need to deflate a bit more so that radiation can do a better job at zapping me 2. A call from the plastic surgeon to schedule that deflation.  That means 2 more appointments added to my schedule. I was relieved that I was able to schedule them during school hours to avoid child care but bummed to have to have them at all.

On top of this, I'm tired. I slept crappy last night. I couldn't take a sleeping pill because I had taken a valium earlier in the evening to relax my chest muscles. [was told not to mix those meds] I also seemed to have heartburn or the need to vomit. I kept telling myself it was heartburn and got up to take a prilosec, pee yet one more time, and then shuffle the pillows around like a pregnant woman to get comfortable. I also had to ban the dog from the bed as somehow he manages to take up more than his fair share and he's a dachshund. #gofigure

Did I mention I start radiation next Wednesday. I'm not all that concerned about the treatment, but rather the amount of time. I will have a daily appointment m-f for 6 1/2 weeks. AND even after that I won't really be done with my cancer journey. (can you hear the woe is me in my voice) I'll have my Herceptin infusions through March, Surgery to remove my baby bearing parts in May #notthatIneedthemanyway, and breast reconstruction sometime next summer. Then maybe I'll be able to say I'm DONE.

So here I sit... waiting for my hubby to get home so that I can cry a bit and have him boost me up. I need to rally... I need to put my big girl panties back on and I need a good night's sleep.

It's been a long day. A good flippin' long day.

My pet scan results came back.... voila just like that [ok, not so voila, just like that]
Negative. Negative on the carcinoma. NO CANCER. No glowy spots on the scan. No tumor. No funky nodes.
CANCER FREE BABY... just how I like it.

I cried tears of joy. I don't think I've done that yet in the realm of my cancer world. [If my words are 'off' meaning they don't grammatically match up to what I'm '... blame it on the pain meds. Yes, I'm on them today, I got expanded again and my new ta-tas are stretching out my pecs + skin]

When I told my daughter she smiled big...with her new smile that is missing her top front tooth. She said "You don't have cancer anymore". That is so simply put, yet so larger than life.

I don't feel cancer free yet... it will take a while to soak in. I still have a shitload of items on my cancer treatment checklist to tackle before my journey is over. So as much as I'd like to feel like it's all over, it isn't. Closer.... a LOT closer.

What's left:
6 weeks of radiation [to insure the bastard doesn't come back]
Breast reconstruction [they are coming along quite nicely]
Hysterectomy [because I'm at a high risk for ovarian cancer]

So today I CELEBRATE, but tomorrow I see my radiation oncologist to keep on keepin' on.

p.s. I VERY much appreciate all your kind comments on Facebook and on Twitter today. Thank you all for walking next to me as I mosey on down this path. It's way more fun with you than without.

A fews days after my double mastectomy... You can see the expanders are in and give me some shape.
The expanders have had a huge emotional impact as well- I don't feel boobless.
[I'm wearing a 'Survivor Tank' which was a gift from the Yummie Tummie people :) ]

I've been home from the hospital for a week. It's flown by. Which I'm thinking may be the power of pain meds and having my best friend Diane here to help me.

I feel ok, well actually I feel engorged which isn't usually what women would say following a double mastectomy. But in my case I opted for the expanders to be placed in my chest during the surgery- which means I'm not conclave but have the beginning of new breasts. The boobie doc put a decent dose of saline in them to start [ i think 240 cc's] + added 90 more cc's several days later. This is why I feel like my girls are full and ready to nurse...but in reality they are just stretching out a bit to accomodate my implants. About 6 months from now when my skin is ready [post radiation] I'll have surgery again to remove the expanders and place in my implants.

When I was in the hospital and prepping for my shower I took my first look at the sisters. I wasn't upset. I didn't cry. I wasn't grossed out. The stiches were covered with tape, there was no bruising or bloody gunk. I could see where the drain tubes were placed... which is the gnarliest it gets. The drain tubes take the leftover gunk/fluid and drain into what looks like a clear hand grenade. My job is to strip the drains + keep track of the amount of fluid. After a week or so they will be removed. Removal is determined by the amount of fluid my body would be able to absorb on it's own. I do have soreness where the drain tubes meet my skin and am looking forward to not lugging these things around. I have 3... 2 on my right breast with one of them draining the lymp nodes, 1 on my left breast.

Hope this doesn't fully gross you out. The lighter cup is the lymph node drain.

 I keep a clipboard in my bathroom to record date, time, and amount of fluid drained.

My incisions don't hurt, which is a bit of a surprise to me, a nice surprise.

The top half of my chest doesn't hurt, but feels pressure. This is the device they have me wear. I call it my heartlight, the kids think it's more Iron Man. It does some electro-magnetic thing every 4 hours. I've asked 5 times what it does, but since I'm a bit strung out all I remember is that it helps relieve the spasms. It's simply placed on top of my chest and held in place with the white gauze tube top. #soMadonna

Random details:

I find my legs + arms twitching as I'm lying down to sleep.

The first day home I went to put on my big girl panties and then reached for a bra.

Reaching for a cereal bowl is apparently a no-no until my drains are removed and my blood vessels have had a chance to heal.

No driving until I'm done with my pain meds.

Keeping track of all the meds is a bit confusing... so I write down when + how many pills I've taken on a this clipboard I keep in my bathroom.

I have weird dreams that I don't remember.

My eyesight is wonky... I have to remove my glasses to read my iPhone + the newspaper.

My community is full of great cooks... I SO appreciate the meals + baked goods!

I don't miss my old breasts.

I haven't cried since surgery.

I have 6 doctor's appointments this week.

I'm feeling ok about all of this.