For those of you without cancer... or cancer without hair loss, you may not fully appreciate why I would take a picture of myself with a towel on my head. Even a photo sans eye glasses where I look cross eyed.

For the majority of my cancer journey I didn't want to get in the shower. Then when I did...I didn't want to get out. I wanted to stay in that safe place forever. Or maybe I just didn't want to face drying off and losing more hair. I lingered forever... feeling wasteful yet not really giving a shit either.

Months after chemo my hair started to grow back... I dried off quickly just rubbing the towel over my new hair. I felt like a boy in a gym shower toweling off... like the ones I've seen on tv. I fielded the comments about how nice it must be to not have to do my hair. Meaningful banter... not hateful and not taken that way. As my hair grew a tad longer and started to fill in, people that didn't know me thought my hair was edgy + hip. I smiled and took the compliment though sometimes I spilled the beans. I have this uncanny need to do that.

My hair went curly... and I learned to use product to tame it. I trimmed my sides.  I wanted to avoid the whole Chemo-Fro look and was determined not to let cancer dictate my new look. I wanted control.

Now I hop in the shower without contemplation. I tackle my shower routine... shampoo, soap up, rinse, condition, shave, rinse and grab a hand towel to wrap around my head.

Simple Milestones. Simple milestones that exude normalcy. Welcome back lil' white towel. Welcome back.

for previous posts on 'chemo hair' click here

For those of you without cancer... or cancer without hair loss, you may not fully appreciate why I would take a picture of myself with a towel on my head. Even a photo sans eye glasses where I look cross eyed.

For the majority of my cancer journey I didn't want to get in the shower. Then when I did...I didn't want to get out. I wanted to stay in that safe place forever. Or maybe I just didn't want to face drying off and losing more hair. I lingered forever... feeling wasteful yet not really giving a shit either.

Months after chemo my hair started to grow back... I dried off quickly just rubbing the towel over my new hair. I felt like a boy in a gym shower toweling off... like the ones I've seen on tv. I fielded the comments about how nice it must be to not have to do my hair. Meaningful banter... not hateful and not taken that way. As my hair grew a tad longer and started to fill in, people that didn't know me thought my hair was edgy + hip. I smiled and took the compliment though sometimes I spilled the beans. I have this uncanny need to do that.

My hair went curly... and I learned to use product to tame it. I trimmed my sides.  I wanted to avoid the whole Chemo-Fro look and was determined not to let cancer dictate my new look. I wanted control.

Now I hop in the shower without contemplation. I tackle my shower routine... shampoo, soap up, rinse, condition, shave, rinse and grab a hand towel to wrap around my head.

Simple Milestones. Simple milestones that exude normalcy. Welcome back lil' white towel. Welcome back.

for previous posts on 'chemo hair' click here

I've heard the words "who knew?!" many a'time the past couple of months...

"Who knew your hair would look good short!"

"Who knew your head was shaped so nicely?"

I was secretly thrilled when I took the kids for their wellness check-up and the nurse told me how cute my hair was... I confessed and replied WHO knew?"

Last summer as my hair was falling out... I calculated when it would return. "The" rule of thumb is 2-3 months after your last chemo treatment. For me that was August 23rd. I hoped I'd have hair for Christmas. I heard it would grow out curly, even kinky... I heard it may come back different colors. Possilby gray. #cruel

I checked my scalp daily... surely it wouldn't take that long. But somewhere between October 15th, my mastectomy date, and now, it grew.

It's brown, slightly lighter than before and without lucious curls, no kinks, no grays. I'm considering staying short. In fact long hair is kind of grossing me out... #sideeffectmaybe #compensate

NeVah-evAH did I think my hair post chemo would look in some ways better than it looked in my classy, sassy bobb. I was worried I'd look like my big brother... boyish. So I compensate... I wear girly clothes, lipstick and earings. But as you'll see below in my video clip I've got very little of that going on... I was getting ready for bed, fussing with my hair, and decided to attempt my first Flip video.

Today is December 31st. Welcome to my bathroom and my first vlogging attempt. #santabroughtusaFlipforChristmas

p.s. cheers to 2011!